The Remove

I sat inside the steel and glass monstrosity and watched the people walking past.  Everyone was going somewhere.  They were returning or leaving and found themselves all there, as I did, waiting or having waited.  We were dressed in our fineries, or not; we were in a hurry, or not.  Our faces held an eagerness or impatience with too little time, or we were in a set and staid complacency, as we had surrendered ourselves to wait.  Patience was no longer needed.  We just were and our time would come as it had for the rest.

I looked out through the large windows and beyond the technology that was in the foreground, beyond and beyond the miles between here/there and the object of my gaze.  A few hours earlier, I was out and among the mountains and streams, walking down earthen pathways that were wet with life and rich and gray and sandy and mulched and fine, and trees of every and sundry sort shaded my walking and allowed, too, the sun to shine on my pathway, to illuminate the great undergrowth and broad leaves and needles, nettle-like weeds of slight and fine stalk and stem and little branches and huge, fallen and leaning and upright in their rotting and decay.  Life was full and birds drifted and alighted sometimes and not, and the stream/river crashed over rocks and boulders and ran into side pools in their clean-ness, the large mess of aquamarine and clear and green and blue and white in its rushing and crashing in tons and gallons and my heart and soul wanted to stand there and stay there forever, being fed as they were with a food or nourishment so strange and beautiful and foreign to my desert-living self.  The greens were rich and lush beyond the holding of our dreams and the air was fresh with some kind of natural perfume, a fragrance wrought in the heady blooms of wildflowers and shrubs that found their anchors or homes in shaded caves and coves beneath large and tall pines and firs and oaks and cottonwoods and aspens.  I don’t know if I had ever seen streams or rivers running down the sides of mountains before that day, but I had now, or then, on that day, twice even, in their similar crevices or ravines among the rocks and tree-lined and covered mountain, a green sheet or blanket of trees covering that rich and fertile whatever with those ribbons of white and clean ice-cold foaming and bubbling tide that crashed over hundreds of yards from their beginnings in the craggy heights above.

If this land were to be my home, would all of this cause me to be happy?  Would it continue to nourish my soul when I was pressed and oppressed by life and money and the nothingness of work?  Would all of this add meaning to my temporal existence and make-up for areas that I felt were lacking?  Would I be fulfilled, or would it make me want to escape that much more?  Would its nearness make me yearn to leave hearth and home to be among the boulders and trees and rivers and deer and snakes and squirrels?  Would I crave their company more than others’?  Would I be drawn inside and away from those in my surround, seeking the company of myself over them – seeking the company of myself and away over them?  Or would they seek this hideaway from the everyday and nourish their arid souls here, too?  Would they treasure this natural sanctuary as I would and want to be in its raging stillness as I would and be so comforted in their awe and treasure it beyond words, taking refuge, as I would, in its splendor and remove?  I hope they would….

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